To Mourning exhibit To Special Guest
Recommended reading for better understanding of Exhibit
The museum house was built in 1860 in the mid-Victorian period. The Irwin family who lived in the house for 75 years mourned the loss of a number of family members during that period of time, beginning on March 29, 1861 with the death of Josiah, fraternal twin of Margarette Belle, at the age of 2 years, 5 months, and 29 days. Some of the mourning rituals (a black wreath on the entrance door, some black crepe drapery, and the draping of mirrors) will be observed in the house.
Please remember that only a few pieces of the mourning memorabilia would have been in each home and not the great number of items that are on exhibit today. Collectively, they may appear very morbid to our twenty-first century eyes. Look at each piece individually for its beauty and message.
This special exhibit, taken from a fascinating era of social history, will allow you to step back in time and understand with greater clarity the lives of your ancestors. Please view the exhibit through the eyes of one of your nineteenth century ancestors.
From the booklet, “The After-Life, Mourning Rituals and the Mid-Victorians,” by Karen Rae Mehaffey, “Beyond being a visual display what could be morbidly interpreted as the celebration of death, for the Victorians, it was a celebration of the love they shared with one another, and a celebration of the spirit world they continually sought.”
Many cultures, Egyptians, Native Americans, and Judaism, have had mourning rituals since the beginning of time. With the passing of time, the rituals have changed, even in modern times. Today, less black is seen at funerals, dress is not as formal, and more memorial services are being held instead of funerals. Some traditions that we take for granted today are actually mourning rituals that began years ago. They include the choosing of certain clothes for the deceased, tucking special jewelry or mementoes in the casket to be buried with the loved one, and having make-up applied so that they look as they did when living. Some of the rituals from the early to mid 20th century that are no longer practiced include the wearing of black arm bands and draping homes in black crepe.
The Victorian era in England and the U.S. was perhaps the period that was most entwined in the strict rituals of mourning, although mourning customs were faithfully practiced long before the death, in 1861, of Prince Albert, the beloved husband of Queen Victoria. Books on mourning etiquette were written to guide society, especially women, through the grieving of loved ones. Relationship to the deceased dictated the length of time – parents were mourned for months or years but a distant relative or cousin would often only warrant a number of weeks. A mourning period of two and half years was dictated for the death of one’s husband compared to just three months upon the death of a wife. Queen Victoria mourned Prince Albert’s death for forty years until the time of her death in 1901. This was well beyond the two and half years as described in the books of etiquette on mourning. A mother would mourn the death of a child for one year, as would a child for a parent.
Fashion was another big part of mourning etiquette. Except for a lady’s undergarments, everything worn from head to toe was black, including accessories such as gloves, mitts, shawls, and mantels. In the middle and upper-middle classes, a black bonnet of crepe, silk, or cotton was a must, which would have included a silk veil of shoulder to mid-calf length. The length of the veil was the lady’s preference. The ladies in the poorer segments of society imitated as best they could. After the “deep” mourning, a lighter level of mourning permitted the woman to start returning to social activities while still wearing black. A third and sometimes a fourth level allowed her to fully return to society without wearing anything black. English rules were more involved and strict than American rituals and customs and were most complicated during the mid-Victorian period. During the last couple decades of the nineteenth century, books of mourning etiquette allowed women to choose how many of the rituals she would observe and for how long.
If it could be afforded, black crepe was draped over windows to limit the light; mirrors were also covered. Black wreaths were hung on doors, announcing to the community that the home was in mourning.
Books of morality novels, poetry, prayers, and stories which were classified as “consolation literature” were written especially for women. These books were written to comfort and give emotional support to women who were the caregivers of those who died. Topics included heaven, angels, spirits, and Christian life. One of the most popular books of this genre was Gates Ajar which was actually reprinted again in 1964 by Belknap Press, Harvard University.
Well into the early part of the 20th century, death was very much an accepted part of life for all members of a family, including the children. Because there were no funeral homes, as we know them today, the bodies were laid out in the parlor or bedroom of the deceased’s home (ergo the nomenclature, funeral parlor or funeral home) for one to four days before burial. With no embalming and only blocks of ice to prevent the quick decay of the body, a twenty-four hour vigil was kept along side the deceased to make sure rodents did not attack the body.
Portraits of children and other family members that were painted or sketched posthumously from the corpses may seem to be very morbid to us today, but it was their way of maintaining the continuity of the family and remembering their loved ones as they were during life. After all, there were no cameras. One of the fairly new mourning rituals of today is to have a picture board of photographs of the deceased at the funeral home showing the deceased throughout their life with their loved ones, at work, and at play.
Expressions of grief were found in jewelry made of hair, needlework, hair art, special framed prints on which the loved one’s name could be printed, artwork, glassware, and many more things.
As a compliment to the exhibit on
Sunday, October 12, a special guest, Saundra Jordan
presented “Mary Todd Lincoln Remembers.” The vignette takes place in the parlor of
Mrs. Lincoln’s sister. The time is 1881, just after she returned to Springfield, Illinois where she would live
out the rest of her life. As she looks through various memorabilia from their
lives together, Mrs. Lincoln recalls special memories and events as Jordan
brings to life a compassionate loving mother and wife who becomes grief-stricken
after the loss of three of her four children and her beloved husband.
Saundra Jordan was born and raised in Baltimore, Maryland and has always been
interested in the Civil War. Saundra and her husband Stan are members of the 1st
Virginia Infantry, Co. D and
do reenactments and living histories in Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia and West
Virginia. They especially enjoy doing programs at area schools and museums.
The Jordan’s are also volunteers with Harpers Ferry National Historical Park.
Mrs. Jordan is a member of the Society of Women in the Civil War and does
extensive research on women during the 19th century.
Mary Todd Lincoln was, to say the least, not very
popular in the south and was especially unpopular within the Confederate ranks.
After friends and family noticed her resemblance to Mary Todd Lincoln, they
urged her to “dress up” as Mrs. Lincoln. Considering Jordan portrays a
southern lady, she resisted until her grandson who saw a film about President
Lincoln, said to her, “I didn’t know you knew Abraham Lincoln.” With that
comment, she could no longer deny her destiny, which was to “become” Mary Todd
Lincoln in mourning for her children and husband. After doing extensive
research for over a year, Jordan has
discovered a
side of Mary Lincoln about which many people don’t know. In her
presentation, Jordan tries to correct some of the erroneous things that have
been written about her through the years. Acting is not unfamiliar to
Jordan, as she is a cousin of Shirley McClain and Warren Beatty.
Jordan’s program was presented three times during the afternoon beginning about 1:15, 2:15, and 3:15 p.m. Each twenty-minute program is followed by a ten-minute question and answer period, at which point, her husband will then share further information on the Lincoln assassination. Jordan’s mission is a labor of love and her goal is to educate as many people as she can about Mary Todd Lincoln and her life through her portrayal.
Additionally, Tom Wetzel,
owner of Kerfoot Livery Service, Hagerstown, Maryland, had
a vintage hearse coach on display in the museum’s driveway.
This special exhibit and program, taken from a fascinating era of social history, allows visitors to step back in time and understand with greater clarity the lives of their ancestors. From the booklet, “The After-Life, Mourning Rituals and the Mid-Victorians,” by Karen Rae Mehaffey, “Beyond being a visual display what could be morbidly interpreted as the celebration of death, for the Victorians, it was a celebration of the love they shared with one another, and a celebration of the spirit world they continually sought.